One of the coolest things about upgrading to the blackberry – and I guess this is true with most smartphones – is that when my cable connection goes down, as it is right now, I can just plug it in via the USB cord, and now I’m back online through the blackberry with a pretty decent connection. I can work on the site etc. or write up what’s been going on lately as I am now without the Time Warner internet connection.

It doesn’t go out often, but when it does, it’s great to have this as a backup connection.

– The cocktail party at the Essex house for the winning photographers was supposed to be today, but I just got an email that it’s been postponed for a few days, which is good because I really did need to get a decent set of clothes together and maybe even get a hair cut before the wine and cheese are carted out. I was thinking of hiring an escort to be my guest. I had this fantasy – I think it’s a fantasy of arriving with a tall statuesque blonde on my arm a la James Bond. I admit, that I do have a wild fantasy life. Of course, she doesn’t have to be blonde – just so long as she’s what we used to call a knock-out. I would stroll in, and present her as my assistant, and my muse a la Pygmalion. I actually looked into the proposition – and the pretty woman fantasy is pretty costly, though I did find a shot of someone who looked like Julia Roberts – her screen name is Crystal Gems.

You get these ideas sometimes when you’ve been stuck in the house tweaking web sites for too long.

Actually – I do know a knock out – but she’s a niece twice removed (I think that’s what she is) who I’ll call R.B. I wonder whether I should give her a call. She’s not only gorgeous, but sort of exotic looking since her mother is from Sri Lanka, and her father is from a small cattle ranch in Texas and looks a lot like Rock Hudson. The last time I talked to her, she was studying to be a doctor, but I think she dropped out of school to study acting. Yeah – she’d be perfect. She’s really photogenic. I’ve got a shot of her somewhere (on film) maybe I can find it later. Anyway, hanging on my arm won’t do any good unless I can find me some clean clothes and shave and get a haircut which is asking a lot.

Well, whatever.

I wonder if she’d do it. Of course, my looks are nothing to write home about. Maybe it would be better to hire a male escort to pretend to me. I could give him a camera, and have the two of them make a grand entrance, and take pictures… that would give me just as much pleasure as actually being there. You know, we work so hard to make beautiful things – and it would be fitting if we could make a fitting entrance.

I remember the first time I heard Henry Miller speak on film. I was so disappointed. He talked and looked like the guy that delivers the newspapers at night – slinging them from a dark truck with a cigar stuck in his mouth, and a very coarse and ragged beard.

Did you ever think that some of us photo nuts are trying to make up for what we lack in our own personal beauty? I know – I know – this whole blather is not exactly politically correct – but there might be some glimmer of truth to it. Well, as I think of photographers’ mugs – I have to say there might just be some truth in the idea, though I can also think of exceptions. No – I should strike this last part out – but I’ll leave it just the same.

There have been quite a few very good woman photographers. I wonder what Helen Levitt looked like when she was in her prime. She’s my personal favorite as far as women photographers go. And in the current day – you’ve got Annie Leibowitz (spelling). She was a knock-out in her prime. But I think the best female photographer I ever saw was in this documentary about Fay Dunnaway – the actress. I think it was called Three Days of the Condor. It’s a true story about how she gets involved with Robert Redford…

Okay but seriously – you know who is a really good photographer – Richard Gere. He’s done a lot of great (though fuzzy) black and white work in Tibet. So there goes that theory. Which actually brings me full circle to Pretty Woman where Gere hires Julia Roberts to be his escort. Now that’s in itself is hard to swallow. It would’ve been more believable with Dustin Hoffman instead – but then it wouldn’t quite be the fairy tale that it is. And now that I think about it, there have been a great number of beautiful movie stars that were also very accomplished photographers. Yeah, I’ll have to scrap that theory.

On the other hand, I once saw a collection of photographers by Margaret Dumont (the foil for the Marx brothers). In Groucho Marx’s autobiography, he talks about how Margaret Dumont always had a camera on the set, and was very serious about the craft of photography.

Well anyhow – I’ve been busy with orders which is why I haven’t written much lately. Although I have to admit that more than half of them are now coming from foreign countries. I guess this place is still reeling from the economic downturn. In one day, I had two orders from Norway. Really. And neither had any problem paying for the exorbitant Fedex shipping charges which in one case were more than the actual print.

I was chatting once with my Fedex guy – and he told me that they made all their real money from international sales. I wonder if one day Fedex is going to announce record profits, and we’re going to find out that it was because of the dramatic increase in overseas shipments. If you ever want to have some fun – take a look into how much it would cost to send a package to Australia…

Okay — let’s see if I can post this okay through the blackberry connection and whether my cable is working yet.


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My name is Dave Beckerman. I am a fine art photographer working in New York City.

6 thoughts on “etcetera”

  1. Peter Gowland — blond, tan, lithe, surfer. Still quite a hunk at 90+. And apparently a genuinely nice guy to others.

  2. I can’t believe you guys are still reading this blog… it’s been so absolutely dry the last few weeks…

    There’s an old guy who runs a nearby flower shop. Every morning I walk by and see he’s changed the window display. That’s what I’ve been doing with the store for the last few weeks.

    If I tweak it anymore it’s going to tweak me back.

  3. Tom,
    I’ve been a big fan of Jeff Bridges for a long time (The Big lebowski – a classic)but it was only recently that I came across his photography and was glad I did. Some really beautiful, well shot, behind the scenes images.

    Dave, I recently looked into getting a Canon G10 exported from the US to Aust as I thought the prices over here were unreasonable. After converting currency and tacking on the FedEx rates I found I could walk around the corner from where I work and get one for almost exactly the same price.

    So much for that cunning plan…

    And yeh, Dave we’re all still reading your blog. And why not? It’s insightful, witty, interesting and has some good photography as a bonus.


  4. I highly recommend that Julia Roberts dead ringer you found on the escort service. I hired Crystal Gems to escort me to a Bar Mitzvah and she was a great success. The height of the evening was when we danced the Horah. Crystal got in center of the circle of dancers and did the Dance of the Seven Veils. No one objected, even though the dance refered to the New Testament, instead of the Old. The only time she got out of hand was when she started swiping yarmulkes off peoples’ heads and playing frisbee with them. After a few drinks, she revealed her real name, Karen Gemsky, and offered me the Spitzer Special at a reduced rate. All in all, it was a very rewarding experience.

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