As mentioned – I’m cleaning house. I came across an old journal.
I’m moving closer to making photography a career – which is to say – trying to have more time for it. I’m convinced that the effort should go into making as fine a print as I can – not sparing any expense or hardship. And that the “rest” will unfold naturally, just as it has already.
Last week I sold 3 more prints in West Jersey to A–. All in all I’ve sold prints to all my friends except Barry. Barry is too much in competition to buy anything right now.
I was on a roll for the last week. Began printing – smaller – 8 x 10 – on graded paper and was pleased with results.
I’m trying to be more Zenny – to do one thing at a time. Very difficult for me. I can’t stay in the moment. I’m jumping ahead or behind. I anticipate or dwell in the past. I think it comes from stress of the computer field where – when – no – I remember it in all business endeavors where you are worried about sucess and failure.
If you can anticipate what will happen next – do you have a better chance to cope with it? Maybe – but you lose the moment. And the thing you’re preparing for may or may not happen. What then? Wasted energy.
A few days more until I leave for Yosemite. One week’s vacation. That is perverse. How desperately I am looking forward to ONE week. That proves how mixed-up my life has become – and that I have become a slave again. Now I am Mr. Responsible. I must throw this all off if I am to attain any freedom at all.
Hard to believe. B. walks into my office and gives me a $4000 raise. I am now making what – 60K for three days work? How can I leave this. They are driving me crazy with these gold chains.
::: They’re hard to read. I was really so miserable. Ten years ago. People coming into my office to complain about tech glitches all the time. Upper management pressing to get something done. Underlings pressing because some piece of code either didn’t work, or was unclear. Never a compliment. Just promotions and more money. And now I sit here and almost every day a nice note comes through the mail. Now I worry about money – but not that much – and somehow things seem to work out. There’s really something to be said for doing what you want to do. Even if you don’t make it (money-wise) you still have the pleasure of feeling your spirit being unleashed.
From the last week:
I came across your website and work. Very nice work. Your “A Taste of Snow” photo is excellent and truly inspirational. As a photographer, I am always looking for those great little moments to capture.
Surfing the web and saw your photos and had to write to try to say something that would tell you how amazing and beautiful I found them to be. But they are beyond words…